A Celebrated Week

- category: special/celebration -

This past week I celebrated something; I won't say what. But my friends knew what happened last week. So, to celebrate that "something", my boyfriend and I went to Yosemite National Park. I just would like to share the pictures we took there. I don't think I'll get tired of Yosemite. The first time I went there was 2003, and I fell in love with it immediately.

Yosemite really put me in a place "out of this world", especially the huge rocks surrounding the Tioga Pass (the Eastern Entrance). I returned there a year later to celebrate my cousin's wedding (what a lucky lady!) and haven't been there for the past 3 years. So, it's really a pleasure to go back there.

Unfortunately, the Tioga Pass was closed so my boyfriend couldn't see its glory (he's never been to Yosemite before), but the waterfalls were strong and healthy in late April. My only concern is that with the global warming, Yosemite gets warmer and warmer earlier each year (I used to see peaks still partially covered in snow in May or early June; but now they're almost completely clear of snow). I hope we can still enjoy Yosemite for long years to come. For now, enjoy the pictures!

**All pictures copyrighted by Christian Hadidjaja.

----

The Bridal Veil Falls

Seen from Vista Point near the West Entrance (fwy 120):

And seen from up, close, and personal (the white particles are water!). The way my bf editted this photo makes it seems like a rejected sequel of "The Lord of the Ring".

El Capitan and Half Dome

The road to El Capitan..

El Capitan (and me!)

Looking from the Tunnel View...

The Mariposa Grove

Giant sequoia trees...I mean, GIGANTIC sequoia trees!


A dead tree's root (it's like a HUGE, solid implosion)


The "normal" tree trunk (with me as a benchmark of diameter - I'm 5'10", by the way)

Yosemite Falls and the beautiful Ahwanee Hotel

A very nice, healty pour of water in late April (I wonder how it will be in July...)


The Ahwanee Hotel


- coming up: random pictures in Yosemite National Park! -

A Letter from Afar

- special : Virginia Tech 1-week Memorial -

This post was supposed to be published yesterday, but things happened...so, I apologize for my tardiness. My sympathy for the victims' families extends to the shooter's family and relatives. I believe the media have not been kind in portraying Seung-hui Cho as a cold-blooded murderer. I myself have no such opinion and still believe that had he survived, his full story still needs to be heard. Killing that many people is extremely wrong, but his story of why he did that deserves to be heard. My condolences for all of you and those in mourning, God bless you all in this difficult times.

-----

An urgent letter arrived a week ago
bearing the most grave news
Even the mailman's face was dark
as he handed me the letter from afar.

Letter opened, shock unfolded
Dozens of unknown faces on a piece of paper
covered with lingering scents of salty tears.

I folded the letter to make a paper plane
and glided it through the Winds beyond
so the birds could sing the black prayers within.

Listen to the howling cries, oh loved ones
Feel the painful sting of hearts
of those who shed their tears and step forward.

But don't dwelve in your pain too long, lovers
Listen closely, quietly, and
hear the welcoming choir of angels in Heavens.

- amen -

One/Wind_Rivers

- category: observation -

Just a poem I did a long time ago but yet always too lazy to put up. This is basically my feelings of being left behind by my friends who decide to move out of town or get on with the next chapter of their lives. I miss you all, but you will always have a special place in my heart.

*Photo copyrighted by Christian Hadidjaja.

--------

And now it's time for you to go
Leaving me behind in this vast grassland
The wind blows furiously
The rivers flow calmly.

We used to play together here
You, me, and many others
Then one by one, we move on
with reasons fleetingly similar and painful.

"My friends are not here anymore."
"This is not my calling."
"I cannot advance further here."
"I don't like being the one left behind."

And then it's your turn to make a choice
We stand hand by hand, facing a branched paths in the forest
No premonition, but as I let go of your hand, I know
The road that beckons you to tread on
is the one I am reluctant to follow.

It's like a conditioned response really
As your figure gets smaller and smaller past the horizon
The more sorrowful my weepings become.

But then I close my eyes as you dissapear
The pain gets almost too overflowing
Should I be the one left behind?
I stand rooted trembling, tears flowing back to Mother.

The wind blows furiously
The rivers flow calmly.

But as much as I dislike this feeling
I need this painful reminder from time to time
to understand the meaning of "loss"
The human feeling called loneliness.

Ah, but then I'm never completely alone
He is always before me
This small voice at the back of my head
"Be not afraid" it whispers softly.

I open my eyes, alone in this vast field.
The wind blows furiously
The rivers flow calmly.

Someday I'll know the reason of my existence
Someday I'll know why we have to move on
But of course, you and I
If we still have time in the world,
Someday we'll meet again.

Then perhaps the phantoms of the past still ingers
You, me, and many others.
Laughing, playing together freely...

The wind blows furiously
The rivers flow calmly
And I turn my back
walking away from the path you take.


-fin-

Strength for the Journey

I know I haven't been updating for two months....I guess patiently waiting for the new banner and a picture for the next post hasn't fared me well ^_^....
Anyway, I just encountered this song at church today, and at times like this where school is crazy, internship is still lacking, tax is waiting to be filled, and studying abroad procedures need to be done, I really need the strengh for the journey. Not only for now, but for as long as I live.

I'm sorry I don't have the audio file, I just have the lyrics.

---

Strength for the Journey
by : Michael John Poirier

Refrain:
I will be, I will be,I will be strength for the journey.
I will be, I will be,I will be strength for the journey.

1. There is a road meant for you to travel.
Narrow and steep is the shepherd's way,
and as you say, "Yes,"letting me guide you,I will be strength for the journey.

2. There is a cross meant for you to carry.
There is a cross meant for you alone,
and as you bow downin humble surrender,I will be strength for the journey.

3. How many times have you doubted my word?
How many times must I call your name?
And as you say, "Yes,"letting me love you,I will be strength for the journey.


-amen-

Missed Calls

- category: personal -

Just a little experience for coming home later than your beloved, when he expects you to be home when he comes home from work. This work is done during my winter break (December 2006) when I visited my boyfriend in San Francisco, but was just too lazy to put it up online.
Hurry! While I have some time before class, put it now!! Here it is, Missed Calls.

*manga: Japanese comic books

-----------------------------------------

Hn. She thought her cell phone vibrated.
She picked it up from inside her bag.
7 missed calls. From the same person. In 10 minute span.

She called the person back. It's answered.
"Why you called so late?"
"Why did you not pick up your phone?"

Oh dear, good ol' questions. Why did not she?
Was the manga* she read engulfed her mind so?
Or did her mind subconsciously choose to ignore the phone calls?

Hn. Actually, she thought it's the later.
You see, she was tired being the one waiting.
Greeting him when he came home after work was past.

So she chose to go out to this bookstore,
deliberately some time relatively close to 5 pm.
Catching up with fascinating tales and adventures,
which she has grown fond of over the years.
She thought, 'I'd be done a little after he arrive home.'

Selfish? Well, probably.
She called it boredom. And envy.
Boredom from waiting for him at home from time to time.
And envy at him for being the one waited for everyday.

She knew she was supposed to get the dinner ready
when her beloved come home.
But that's an old-fashioned idea she never agreed entirely.
After all, she's just a human,
who wants to be the one waited for sometimes.

She came home.
She rang the bell.
And the door opened,
revealing her charming beloved.

She smiled.

- fin -

And the new year begins!

- category: observation -

When I watched the fireworks display on December 31, 2006 at midnight, I barely felt emotional. 7 minutes to January 1, 2007, I still felt nothing. Yes, I was there with my boyfriend, there were a small crowd surrounding us watching the San Francisco Pier 1's fireworks from the Embarcadero bridge, and I did feel happy being there with him.

But little did I know that the day after (which is today), I will get a jolt back to reality. A new semester begins here at Pepperdine Graziadio Business & Management school, and I had to go back to LA to attend my classes for the next 14 weeks. There is also an internship that I need to get this summer. The texbooks are mighty expensive that I get them online, and there is also the case of forgetting my check book that I needed to go back to my apartment and back to school to pay for my tuition (which took me 1 hour and 15 minutes).

Things were rough, I forgot things, I miscaculated my time, and I had a bit of problem with my schedules (which I expect to be solved this weekend). I guess being away from my place in LA for three weeks threw me off balance.

However, of course there were good news. Reunion with class mates and friends are always pleasant, I get accepted to go to ESSEC, France for studying abroad in fall, and I decide to get serious in my interest of fashion.

I cannot go into more details than that, but the important thing is I am starting something this year, right off the bat (at least in my standard). I am still getting a late reaction about going to Paris....I still cannot believe it entirely, it's been one of my dreams. Not to mention the amount of support and information I can get from my French friend who is ready to teach me the language and a professor who graduated from ESSEC, I am ready to be prepared to go.

Other than that, I am still not believing it entirely.

So, that's all for today. I have to prepare for tomorrow's classes.

-fin-

Bukan aku yang malang

- category: parody of siduahuruf's "Bukan aku yang menang" -

Even though it was an old post, I just read siduahuruf's entry (by the name, her name is Elka, her link can be found on my list of friends on the right side) of "Bukan aku yang menang". I am feeling somewhat giddy and playful today, so I am going to make a parody of her poem. And sorry folks, it's in Indonesian language. Her original poem is as follows:

Bukan aku yang menang
(by siduahuruf)

"Diam dengan mata menerawang
Mengapa selalu curang?
Dunia kutantang,
Lalu bukan aku yang menang"

-------------

And my parody is as follows:


"Diam dengan mata kiri lebam
Mengapa kamu menatapku kejam?
Kamu kutantang, aku menang,
Untung bukan aku yang malang."


-Djayusnya mak-

Some changes

Dear readers,

I've made some changes on my side bar, as you can see. I've divided my personal and Pepperdine links, and made a list of my friends' blogs. I've also updated my profile (make it shorter) and quote of the day. If you know any other friends that I should include in the list, please let me know.

My current projects about this blog:
1)update my banner
2)add more friends
3)upload photo
4)feed this blog to my Friendster account (any help is welcomed!)

OK, see you later either at comments or next posts.

- Have a great week -

Baby, baby, baby

-category: observation-

This post is one of a kind, since I never made any draft with any of my previous posts. I actually put some more effort in creating this one, and revised things BEFORE I posted it.
Anyway, here's some background info. Recently, I moved to California to pursue an MBA degree. I am currently staying with my two friends who are married to each other and have a 9-months-old baby boy. I've known them since I was in Madison, Wisconsin, and we attended the same university (even though they are a few years older).

Sometimes I would take care of the baby, albeit briefly, and he made me realize some things that I never knew about myself. Such as the spark of joy of holding a baby. Before, I would never imagine making friends with babies or even holding one. It is a pleasant small change for me, and even though I still cannot imagine myself having a baby, my general attitudes toward babies are showing a "sparkle of hope". Right now, I am even curious how his attitudes toward me will change as he gets older. Hmm....interesting though, indeed.

So, here is my reflection of spending time with the baby on daily basis, and feel free to leave a comment or two. The closing end is not the usual "-Fin-" this time, but "-Tadaima-" that means "I'm home" in Japanese.

---------------------------------

It always puzzles me
whenever you sit calmly on my lap like this,
smilling and gurgling happily without a care in the world.

How come you look at me with those adoring, sparkly eyes
when I avert mine from yours.

How come you doze off sleepily on my chest
when I am always restless.

How come you give me your beautiful smiles so relentlessly
when I am reluctant to give my trust.

And how come your smile so contagious
that corners of my lips twitching to curve upwards.

You make your parents sacrifice willingly for you.
You make them go beyond their means to satisfy you.
You make them do the silliest things,
so that you know what if feels to be loved.

You baby, are their most precious treasure.
All they need to do is to love you,
and that is how they know they are loved in return.

So here I am back in reality,
driving through the canyon road,
body and mind weary from the stress of today
soul anxious for the hope of tomorrow.

And yet I still think of which songs I will sing tonight
during our brief time together after dinner.
I will sit you on my lap while your parents prepare your milk and bed.

Then I will sing to you the most random songs,
from Japanese melodrama "Tokyo Love Story" to Chinese kungfu series "Assasination"
from Alicia Keys to Savage Garden
from Disney to Final Fantasy.
And you will calmly sit on my lap,
no fuss, just playing with my pajama buttons, your toys, or my bra strap.

Heh. Bra strap.

So wait for me, baby.
I know I'm running late, but
don't go to sleep yet.

For my wish of dusk is
to open the door and see you sitting on your mother's lap.
Two seconds of confusion, then...
all excited to see this unworthy one home.

Hey, what's up baby?


- Tadaima -

I would hate it if you want me to

-category: observation/about me-

It's been a while, isn't it? Geez....school has been very busy, but I really enjoyed getting a 5-day break between school sessions and went to San Francisco to see my beloved boyfriend. If you didn't notice, my post on September 14 was to celebrate his birthday.
Anyway, this time I would tell you what I felt when I was on my way back to LA from SF last Sunday. I was upset to leave, I wasn't ready to separate from him yet, and I did not want to go back to my school madness. But here I am now, ready to roll again for the next session. HEEYAAH!!

-------------

I opened my eyes and stared at the ceiling
Long hallway, overhead cabinets, white tubes of light

I looked outside through a small window
and realized us speeding away at the runway

I closed my eyes again, feeling sick
as the plane left the ground

I felt a stranger moved beside me.
He had his earphone on, watching some on-air TV channel.

I huffed. So I did leave.
You were missing.

It was a short flight.
TV was enough to distract my mind.

But as soon as I saw my destination city from afar,
my heart was filled with grieve.

I hated this city.
Just because you were not here.

I wanted to go back.
But I knew you would not want it.

I would hate this city if you want me to.
But I knew you wished otherwise.

I would hijack this plane and tell the captain to turn around.
But you would hate me.

You were my vice. My weakness.
And I would hate it if you hate me.

So, I sat back and prepared myself for landing.
I hated leaving you, but I had to do this.

Just for you. No one else.

Let's meet again next month.
Pray for our life and happiness.
Until we meet again.

Amen.

1 to 14

- this is a special entry for my boyfriend, christian -

1 to 14

Giddy
is when I know my call comes through,
anticipating your voice from the other side of the line...

Lazy
is when I experience complete blissfulness,
my head on your chest, listen to your peaceful heartbeat...

Safe
is when you put your arms around me,
enveloping me passionately, until my bones crack and I cannot breath...

Annoyed
is when you are pessimistic, you think you're not good enough,
when I know you're a "sleeping dragon",

Cat-like
is when you're spoiled and needy,
eyus eyus mwah mwah peyuk peyuk oaahhh,

Seduced
is when I stare at your sexy ass,
and you know I do it,

Repent
is when I realize I was wrong
and I hurt your feelings

Sensitive
is when you speak,
fragile and tired while brilliant and adorable,

Style
is when you pick up my clothes,
all of them I miss, but you bring them to light,

Possessive
is when you seem indifferent,
but you do not like me doing it,

Subtle
is when you show me you love me,
in the most unflashy ways,

Sunset
is for us holding hands, strolling and running on the beach,
sand swirling and us kissing,
and you teasing the seagulls' babies,

Halved
is after our kiss at the airport,
I know you leave and have to wait,
until you return my heart again,

Love
is knowing that things about you, I like.
Your exciting next year, you deserve.
Finding from 1 to 14 next time, we will.


- Mwah -

Heart/Ready

- category : about me/observation -

Almost all day yesterday, I was under the impression that it was September 7, not 8. So, I actually ALMOST violate my own promise on the previous post, which says that I will post something by September 9. Fuhh...

Anyway, sorry if this post is so dark.....it's what's I've been feeling lately, and I think it's important to acknowledge it and see how I feel in the future. Heh, until next time!

----------

Love, love, love, please take me away
hold me close beneath your calm beating heart
look at me with your graceful eyes
comfort me until I am ready...

Grieve, grieve, grieve, don't take me away
enough with your poisonous words and saddened heart
look at me, tears overflowing on my face
leave me, but you are not ready...

Rock, rock, the precious rock
your might conquered the impossible task
look at people around you, wounds deep in their heart
will you wait until they are ready...

My brain numb, my soul tired. For all I know,
everyday the sprinkler outside my room jolted awake at midnight
I stood awake long after it abruptly went to sleep
I know I need to lay down, but my heart is not ready...

Shall I take the holy water?
Strength fill me, compassion enlighten me

Peace

become me.

Will I take the holy water?

Until my heart

...ready.



-Fin-

...

I have so many things to say, and yet so little time.

Ever since I began my graduate study at Pepperdine,
the amount of work has been blowing my mind.

Please be patient and give me more time,
I vow I will make a new entry by September nine.

God help me.

-Fin-

No more chatterbox

Just a quick announcement, no more chatterbox.
It's tiring to have some things stick on the side with not much things happening.

I might revive it in the future if situation allows, but now, just forget it.
Drop me a comment or something if you have something to say.

Thanks.

While she was walking

- category: observation/about me -

The train finally stopped, blaring "This is Monroe...doors open on the left at Monroe."
As she stepped out of the car and went up the escalator, she hesitantly recalled the many stops she had to travel from her apartment at the north Chicago. Ugh, the nausiating feeling that was almost unbearable...it was difficult to breathe....

She stepped out from the subway station, breathed a bit easily now that she's no longer underground...she really much preffered sunshine. Let's see...Bryn Mawr... Berwyn...Argyle...Lawrence...Wilson...Sheridan...Addison...
Belmont...Fullerton...North/Clybourn...Clark/Division...Chicago...Grand...
Lake...Washington...Monroe.

16 stops. Damn. If she wanted to go to the main campus, then she would continue...Jackson...Harrison...Roosevelt...Cermak/Chinatown...Sox/35th. Thank God today wasn't one of those rare days when she needed to take some extra trips...

By the way, those shoes were nice...maybe some other time....
She kept walking past through people dressed nicely, suits, tie, dress suits...it was a little past five anyway...understandable. Today would be the last day for class...then next week would be final exams...sigh.

Then she would leave this city. Chicago. For good.

Guh. What should she feel? She felt nothing as she threaded her way through people. Probably buy some food for one of those homeless people at the bridge. Huh? There wasn't any today. Interesting....Doves.

Upset maybe? Well, she was...but for another reason entirely. It was when she found out one of her favorite yaoi manga "The Tyrant Who Falls In Love" was licensed and the scanlations stopped. Yeah....she was upset.

Happy? Not really...she liked walking down the street like this...she needed the exercise.
Angry? Hell no, there's nothing to be angry about (at this time).

She felt.......bored. She kept walking. Ah, red light. Gotta stop.
The wind was sure strong today, even though the temperature was kinda nice and a bit humid.
Green light. Go. Hn, what're you looking at?

She sure regretted the time when her ring suddenly snapped into two pieces. It's nothing really, but it served its purpose in keeping men away...she has a boyfriend. A cute one.

The wind blew stronger. Cough, what the...?! Cigarette smoke was sure dreadful...cough.
She was here, at last. Revolving doors.

My last class. My last semester. My first, too.
Later?...bye bye.

Ha. Revolving doors. Grin.


-Fin-

What a gloomy day

- category : observation -

Today was feels plain weird for me. It actually started yesterday night, when my allergy medicine made me drowsy around 7 pm and eventually forced me to sleep until 12 am. So I woke up, read some manga scanlations, updated my blog, and all of a sudden, it was 7 am. I felt sleepy again, so I slept until around 1 pm (there were some concious times in between due to alarm and some people calling, but basically I had a long, episodic-like dream).

I decided to go to the grocery, but never made it until 4:30 pm due to some hillarious videos from youtube.com. By the time I went out, it was raining (and I hate rain) and a bit windy. I did pretty quick grocery shopping, but not fast enough to avoid a guy hitting on me. I found it difficult to "shoo" him since he told me about his job and all while occasionally winked.......
I had no heart to tell him I have a boyfriend already, so I kept my answers short and ambiguous. Man, sometimes I feel tired to listen to someone who cannot pick up the clue that I'm not interested. Of course it's flattering to have people come up and say nice things about you, but I am really not interested to take it further (dating) since I'm kinda committed already.

Perhaps I should wear a ring on my left ring finger......
Other than that little incident, everything was boring......except that one mail that angered me. y previous landlord gave my money back but cut a ridiculous $69 due to some "underpayment of my account". I really have no clue what that is, since the deposit and everything was done in full refund......I don't know, it just pissed me off.....

Enough about this, I need to work on my paper outline for my two classes.
For those of you reading until the end, I hope your day is not as boring as me. God bless.

15 things (8 to 15)

Note : continuation of my 15 highlights/lowlights during my first month living in Chicago

8. Helped a man $2 for bus
This guy I met on my way to Borders book store was short on cash to get on a bus...I was more than happy to help him, to be honest. There are other cases as well (no money to get on train, etc), but this particular instance I cared the most.

9. Save $60 for trip from Midway airport to my apartment
I took a taxi from my apartment to Midway (for my SF trip) and it costed me about $45. Which was fine, since it was early in the morning and I did not want to risk missing my flight. However, on the way back, it was lunch hour in Chicago and I figured that it would cost me more since the traffic would be so bad. Thank God for U-Pass, CTA Orange and Red Line, I got home safely at my apartment for FREE!

10. Friendly neighborhood and surprisingly convenient apt complex
I wasn't sure about my apartment at first: it was far from school, the neighborhood looks kinda scary....all that stuff. But I was delighted to discover Dominick's grocery store (which has excellent meat and produce) was just two blocks away, the church was near, Borders book store was located at walkable distance, the Red line was just beside my apartment, the neighbors were nice and friendly.....I could go on and on and on with this.

11. All my favorite stores at State St
What can I say.....H&M, Forever 21, Nordstrom Rack, New York and Company, TJ Maxx, Wet Seal, Payless Shoe Source, Old Navy, Marshall Fields....all in two blocks. Nuff said.

12. Great sunglasses at New York and Company
I did not know that New York and Co has such fabulous sunglasses collection this spring, and they cost $18 for two! I loved them so much that when I lost one of the sunglasses during my SF trip, I came back and bought the exact same model and another one. So I have three sunglasses now! Woohooo!!

13. Fights with boyfriend
My deadly sins of Wrath and Pride have always been a major stepback in our 4-year-old relationship. The great thing is, we always make up afterwards. But still, we cannot go on like this forever now, can we?

14. Ugly encounter with Quixtar representatives
See my previous post of "Settle in Chicago (part 2)" for more details. This is the name of the company that I was reluctant to share initially, but now I don't care about it anymore.

15. Being used by Indonesian personnel of Department of Trade Ny. Sondang
.....It always angers me whenever I realized there are so many incompentent, sleazy, and stubborn people that dared to call themselves government officials......especially from my country. I met her when I attended the seminar "Expansion Through Trade & Investment with Indonesia" on April 7. Basically, the seminar's objective was to lure US inverstors to Indonesia (that's why the Indonesian Minister of Trade, Dr. Mari Pangestu was there). I came there partly out of curiosity and partly to gather materials for one of my classes' papers.
Before she asked for my notes (which I vigorously took while she was nodding off to sleep or chatting with other people at her table - how did I know? She sat at the table in front of me!), she did not do as much as spared a glance......that's whey I was so pissed off when she acted pathetically, persistently, forced me to lend her my notes. She said she was going to use my paper to "help" her make an official report for the Department of Trade. She also told me that she was having a hard time taking notes since she still had some jetlag disorientation. To tell you the truth, I was never willing to lend her my notes since it felt like she insisted to invade my personal space, and because it was for my own purpose of creating an academic paper. But if I had not lend her, OH MY GOD.....I could not even imagine what S&*T she would be saying about me! And after the deed was done and she said thanks (she even called me a “drafter”….what nerves…), she immediattely switched back to her "I-don't-know-you-anymore, I'm-the-great-government-official, go-scram!" mode. However, what pissed me off the most was that there are so many jackasses or bitches out there in Indonesian government like her.
For those of you who are offended and/or Indonesian like me, I am sorry for my language. It's just that I am tired that everytime I look for something positive about the government agents' attitude from my country, these kind of things always come up. Sorry, but the damage was done, I was deeply dissapointed and I stand by my words about bad government officials who only know how to enslave their subordinates to do their job and get away with everything they did not do. Stupid, pathetic, and a horrid dissapointment.

15 things (1 to 7)

- category : observation/about me -

Whoa, it's been almost a month since I last posted any entry....oh well, here's something to make up a little bit of it. It's been a month since I moved to Chicago, and a lot of things happened. This are the 15 highlights/lowlights happened in my life for the past month. No. 1 is the coollest thing ever, and no. 15 is the thing I dispised the most.

1. San Francisco trip
Recently I went to SF to see the Japan Town's Cherry Blossom Festival where there was a Kitaro concert (he's one of artists I respect the most). My boyfriend was still fuming about it, saying that my reason to go to SF had nothing to do with him (he lives in SF) ^_^...
Anyway, it was a great four days, I got to see SF beutiful views once again; Half Moon Bay beach, Sausalito, Union St, Heights St, Coid Tower, Lombard St, Fisherman's Wharf, Japan Town......WOW!! Not to mention my cutest boyfriend Chris, great food, lovely friends (Mariana, Lia, Stanley, Hendro, Robby), oh my God....I had such a great time at SF!!!!!

2. Easter “busy emails” weekend
Physically speaking, nothing happened much during Easter weekend. I went to church three days straight, I went to my classes...nothing much happened. However, the emails were something else. It started with a friend saying happy Easter at the mailing list, then everyone started to jump in....all of a sudden, I was having so much fun interacting with friends I never got a chance to contact for a while in Madison and in other areas as well (one of them even moved to Germany!). It was really fun with all the teasings and greetings and all......all the emails made me smile sooo wide.....it was really the Easter spirits that kept me alive that weekend.

3. Pepperdine University
After failed attempts at several universities, I finally get the good news from Pepperdine University at Malibu, CA. So, this Fall 2006 semester, I am going to California!!! Of course, that means I have some paperwork to do to ensure that my transfer from IIT Chicago, IL to Pepperdine go smoothly.....but I'm cool with it, let's do it and keep the MBA education rolling, baby!

4. My 24th birthday
Hey, I'm 24 already!!! My birthday was several days back, and once again, I felt really blessed to have such loving family, a great boyfriend, awesome friends (although their "Happy Birthday" singing were awful ^_^), and actually a really blessed life!!! I really don't feel like I'm 24, and people always told me I looked younger (like 20 or 21). I took it as a compliment of course, but for me the most important thing is to keep your spirit young....since your physic will get old someday. Still, with a cute look, sexeeh body, and hot attitude like me, it's nice to be young! (sorry, I'm kinda narcisstic about this ^_^)

5. Lost 5 pounds
Hmm....I'm not exactly sure about how it happened. Still, I'm not complaining!!
I think it's because I walked 30 minutes 3 times a week whenever I go to IIT Downtown for my classes...and if I wandered around at downtown area, it will be more time for walking. I don't actually cut down my food intake or anything (my friends know I eat A LOT), so hey....nice!
However, I don't want to keep losing weight, I think I am satisfied with the way I am right now. Not that I was complaining about my weight earlier, but losing 5 pounds from my thighs and my front abs, that was like........outstanding!

6. Got a temporary modelling job
It was pretty unexpected to know that one of the UPS store employees is actually an aspiring fashion designer. She asked for my contacts right away, and I agreed to be her model for a while for her to create a portfolio. She is going to apply to fashion design university at Georgia, and I'm happy to help her. My measurements were taken earlier today, and she was very excited when I put on some of her in-construction clothes. We'll be doing some photo shoots later next month, and I am so looking forward to it. In my opinion, her designs kick ass and she'll do great in fashion design!

7. Got mistaken for an artist by a museum exhibition artist of Art Museum
Hahaha....this happened a while ago when I was visiting the Art Institute of Chicago Museum. Their featured exhibition was Gerodet painting...they were beautiful romantic paintings, and I really admire how the artist used symbols to convey his witty, sometimes controversial perspectives about anything. After I left the exhibition room, this guy approached me and asked how I liked Gerodet. I was hesitant in answering him, perhaps because my mind was still focused on Gerodet and needed some time to switch back to normal conversation. He mistook it as nonchalant impression, and I immediately replied that it was so awesome and left me speechless. I was surprised that he thought I was an artist ^_^, but I still think it was cool that an artist thought I was one of his kind.....I was really flattered! He got a cool website showing his work, and the address is www.glennwexler.com Go check it out!

Settle in Chicago (part 2)

- category : observation -

Pheww, the last week was rough.....it was filled with so many unexpected events, some happy, some confusing, the others just plain sad. Let me start with the happy one first.
When I went to UPS Store near my apartment to get some stamps, the girl who helped me was a fashion designer and she immediately asked me how tall I am, and later asked would I be interested to become her model. I found this to be a great compliment, since she found my face interesting and my body size thin enough to fit into her clothes. Moreover, this meant a lot for me since my face was still filled with remnants of acne (you definitely know what I'm talking about) ^_^ . Nevertheless, I was happy!! We still haven't got together ever since, but we'll hang out soon.

The confusing but non-negative ones were just random. Some guy asking money for bus ticket (which I completely understand, I tell you; after all, I commute everyday from uptown to downtown for at least 1:30 hours per day!), another guy asked if I want to go to some info session to get the idea of their "business plan", the portable stove that the apartment manager promised me was actually more like portable oven, 3 times missing a train because the ticket got stuck, and the maintenance guy coming early in the morning to install some shower hangers.

The sad ones happened in the last few days, that's why I kinda lost my motivation to do anything, to the degree that I wanted to get away. Unfortunately, God has different plans for me this weekend, since apparently I couldn't get a ride to visit my good friend at Minnesota or Wisconsin. Perhaps another time......
I'll let you know what went wrong. I wasn't accepted into a university that I wanted, although up until this moment I am still unsure what the reasons were. I was hoping to transfer from IIT to another university, but the task seemed harder every day. Also, the thing with the info session was fine, despite I needed to be dressed in my business suit, rode a bus for 30 minutes, took a train for another 10 minutes, and ended up one stop away from O'Hare airport. The gentleman (who asked me to go) then picked me up at the train station with his wife. This part was an accomplishment, since I never actually travel that far by myself since I arrived at Chicago around 2.5 weeks ago. But it went downhill after that.

The info session was actually about a multi-level marketing company (I won't tell the name), where an Independent Business Owner (IBO, that's each and every one of them) would sell products via internet and coach other IBOs under them to get more money. It was fine until I realized how late the night had come. When I expected to be there for only about 1.5 hours had grown into the situation where I was stuck for 3 hours. Rather than thinking about the "business plan", I was more concerned about how to get home. There were some misunderstandings here and there, but eventually the gentleman drove me home. Of course, not after he asked me what time we should meet the day after. Sounds Ok? Well, it's not. It's really nice to him to drive me home, but to meet immediately the day after was too much of a strech for me. Not enough time to get things sink in, do you know what I mean? I was getting negative impressions, and as you can see, it will become even uglier.

At the meeting the day after, I told them that as for now, I would not be joining the team. It wasn't the right time for me, and I'm not willing to invest my (limited) money to mostly recruit people. It just wasn't my priority right now. The wife tried to coax me, saying they could get someone to help me start, but I also turned it down. Then the conversation heated when I told them I did some research about them in the internet and also talked with some people I trusted to hear about their opinions. One of the people I talked with was my boyfriend, whom the gentleman initially intended to recruit when we met at IKEA. When I told him we're not interested, he got defensive and asked what's wrong with multi-level marketing. It's legal structure to make money, why was I being negative about it, and even influence my boyfriend, etc etc. The thing is, I have NOTHING against multi-level marketing, it's just not for me! If it's working fine for him and his family, great! But not me! I got so upset and so insulted that I half-yelled at them, tapped my angry hand on a table at a Starbucks store. Eventually they gave up and we went to our separate ways.

I got so frustated and angry and dissapointed when I walked home, so I called my boyfriend. But it wasn't the right time to call him, apparently. A one-sided heated ramblings from me turned into an ugly conversation. Now we both got upset. This and that everywhere, I think I experience some degree of depression right now. It's funny 'coz I just thought that I had never felt lonely, well, here I am now. Broken hearted and depressed. I was hoping to go to Minnesota and met a good friend of mine there, but it won't happen.

Please pray for me guys, and if you wanna talk, you know how to reach me.
God speed and God bless.

Settle in Chicago (part 1)

- category: observation/enligtenment -

Before I know it, it was already a week since I arrived at my new apartment in north Chicago. Not exactly near downtown, as the distance of my apartment and downtown area is approximately 15 - 17 train stops that usually takes about 35 - 40 minutes one way. And even though I thought I made a wrong apartment choice since it is located right next to the train rail, the very same one that takes me to downtown and back (laugh). You see, even though it's convenient, it was very LOUD; I could barely sleep the on the first night. After further irritation during the next few days, it was plainly solved by closing my windows properly (laugh).

One thing became apparent as soon as I settled in my apartment. Since I spent most of my earlier days at home, I soon gave away to my ps2 addiction. Dynasty Tactics 2, Suikoden, SSX3, and soon Xenosaga. I'm now seriously thinking about buying Dirge of Cerberus and Dynasty Warriors 5, as well as Drakengard. For some reasons, I'm not that into Kingdom Hearts, so I cannot care less about their newest release. But FFXII, I need to think about it.

The other thing that also became apparent was that since I do not have a stove, it's kinda difficult to cook here. There are times where I was simply alert because I'm not sure what to eat that day or the day after. It gives me a renewed sense of how valuable a simple meal is. But now that the portable oven has arrived, I guess my life can be a little bit better after all.

Regardless of all these, what calms me the most is simply knowing that God never leaves me. Simple, unthinkable things that I deemed useless in the past have suddenly come to be very valuable. I cannot tell exactly what matters (since it will take so much time to explain; but I'll make another post next time), but it really is calming to know Someone looks after you even when you're living by yourself. In that sense, never once I ever feel alone.