Cry and Laughter

-category: about me/spiritual/observations -

I just experienced my emotions in their extreme bipolars, sorrowful depression and carefree cheerfulness in 48 hours. This actually happened on Sunday and Monday, February 19 and 20, and I feel like I need to talk about it. It's an overdue project, so here goes. Oh, and if it sucked, please let me know, okay?
(P.S. : To Eveline, I promise to post a tribute to you right after this post. ^_^)

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Howling Cry

At times like these, she could not understand why she even tried. She thought she did her best to understand and not to bother people so much. So when it was implied that she did just that, you could not imagine how broken hearted she was. The last thing she wanted to become was a hypocrite.

Why did the person standing across the room frustated her so? Did he not understand the things she did for his sake? Worse still, he was frustated with her too. He was clueless on how to handle her. Glares across the room.

Wait. Think. Pehaps it was not too difficult to understand. Why would he not be frustated when she did not tell him anything? It actually made sense, it was her fault after all.
But her anger howled and clouded her mind into concluding that he was being impossibly difficult and ingrateful. Deep in her mind, she could not understand why she put up with her anger all of these years, her neverending fire of anger feeding the damnation of her soul.

Somewhere, even deeper in her heart, she could hear the priest's voice in the church that evening, 'May peace be with you all tonight.' She promised to preserve that peace tonight.
So in the midst of her anguish, sorrowful anger, and depression, she regretted the most not being able to keep the promise.

"I'm sorry, Lord..." her fiery gaze betrayed her regretful heart.
And the tears fell harder, then...

She slammed the door and left.

-Fin-


Laugh as Wide as the Necklace

Why did she buy the necklace again? Okay, it was green and reeaaaaallllllly cute. But did it matter when it got caught on things over and over again? At times like these, she just realized how long the necklace was. It actually reached a little bit past her navel. Was it too much?

Especially when customers at the store glanced at her when she accidentally got hooked on her swivel chair's arm, or when she bent down and the necklace yanked her back down when it got caught up around some handles. It was embarassing really, to have people stared at you at your most unfortunate, vulnerable moments.

Under normal circumstances, her pride would prevail. She would frown and cursed under her breath, and carried that displeasing face of hers around for another minute or so.
But the strangest thing happened that day. She actually laughed it off.
She just cheerfully smiled and chuckled while unhooking her necklace, joked about how the necklace would tear apart from too much yanking. She laughed a lot that day, it was almost as if she wanted to compare the perimeter of her mouth laughing to that of the necklace.

One problem remained. Why did she buy the necklace? Her curiosity unbearable, she went to the rest room to see herself on a mirror. She instantly remembered.

Oh hey, baby.

You looked fabulous.

-Fin-