-category: observation-This post is one of a kind, since I never made any draft with any of my previous posts. I actually put some more effort in creating this one, and revised things BEFORE I posted it.
Anyway, here's some background info. Recently, I moved to California to pursue an MBA degree. I am currently staying with my two friends who are married to each other and have a 9-months-old baby boy. I've known them since I was in Madison, Wisconsin, and we attended the same university (even though they are a few years older).
Sometimes I would take care of the baby, albeit briefly, and he made me realize some things that I never knew about myself. Such as the spark of joy of holding a baby. Before, I would never imagine making friends with babies or even holding one. It is a pleasant small change for me, and even though I still cannot imagine myself having a baby, my general attitudes toward babies are showing a "sparkle of hope". Right now, I am even curious how his attitudes toward me will change as he gets older. Hmm....interesting though, indeed.
So, here is my reflection of spending time with the baby on daily basis, and feel free to leave a comment or two. The closing end is not the usual "-Fin-" this time, but "-Tadaima-" that means "I'm home" in Japanese.
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It always puzzles me
whenever you sit calmly on my lap like this,
smilling and gurgling happily without a care in the world.
How come you look at me with those adoring, sparkly eyes
when I avert mine from yours.
How come you doze off sleepily on my chest
when I am always restless.
How come you give me your beautiful smiles so relentlessly
when I am reluctant to give my trust.
And how come your smile so contagious
that corners of my lips twitching to curve upwards.
You make your parents sacrifice willingly for you.
You make them go beyond their means to satisfy you.
You make them do the silliest things,
so that you know what if feels to be loved.
You baby, are their most precious treasure.
All they need to do is to love you,
and that is how they know they are loved in return.
So here I am back in reality,
driving through the canyon road,
body and mind weary from the stress of today
soul anxious for the hope of tomorrow.
And yet I still think of which songs I will sing tonight
during our brief time together after dinner.
I will sit you on my lap while your parents prepare your milk and bed.
Then I will sing to you the most random songs,
from Japanese melodrama "Tokyo Love Story" to Chinese kungfu series "Assasination"
from Alicia Keys to Savage Garden
from Disney to Final Fantasy.
And you will calmly sit on my lap,
no fuss, just playing with my pajama buttons, your toys, or my bra strap.
Heh. Bra strap.
So wait for me, baby.
I know I'm running late, but
don't go to sleep yet.
For my wish of dusk is
to open the door and see you sitting on your mother's lap.
Two seconds of confusion, then...
all excited to see this unworthy one home.
Hey, what's up baby?
- Tadaima -
